By: Mike Mikula

From:  Mantuer, Richard (HRdick@nytimes.com)

Sent:  Friday, May 9, 2003 2:45pm

To:  Howell Raines (Zeus@mtolympus.nytimes.com)

Subject:  Jayson Blair Resume

 

Nice work on Sunday’s “Correcting the Record” section.  I’m betting we win a Pulitzer Prize for our coverage of our scandal. 

 

In light of the recent unpleasantness, I took another look at Mr. Blair’s resume.  While I found the document to be exquisitely written, there were several inconsistencies.  Honestly, I don’t know how this got past us.

Jayson Blair

 

Objective:       To take full advantage of the New York Times desire to diversify its newsroom.

 

Experience:

 2002                       War Correspondent,  Associated Press

Embedded with CIA Special Operations team in Afghanistan. 

33 confirmed kills

 

2001                      Firefighter, New York City

Assigned to ladder company in lower Manhattan. 

Perished in World Trade Center Collapse.

 

2001-                     Reporter, Miami Herald

2000                      Worked on Presidential Election Florida Recount Project.

                                Discovered that Ralph Nader actually won the state by two votes. 

Coined the phrase, “Post-Partum-Depressed Chad”.

 

1999                                Film Director, Hollywood, California

Wrote, directed, and produced feature film “The Matrix”. 

 

1998                                Sports Reporter, Martha’s Vineyard Gazette

Reported on President Clinton’s hole-in-one at Martha’s Vineyard Country Club’s 420-yard par 4 16^th hole.

 

1997-            Associate Editor, Hustler Magazine

1996                Discovered and revealed that every single Member of Congress had at least one extra-marital affair.  Three of which involved barnyard animals.

 

1995                Freelance Novelist, Washington, D.C.

                        Wrote and published “Primary Colors” under pseudonym, “Anonymous”.

Novel was based on experiences I had as Bill Clinton’s Campaign Virologist.

 

1994-               Syndicated Newspaper Cartoonist

1993                                Drew and inked popular comic strip, “Doonesbury” for creator Garry Trudeau, who doesn’t like getting India ink under his fingernails.

 

Education:

 

                        United States Military Academy, West Point, NY

                        Played halfback on Army’s National Championship football team.

 

                        Phillips Academy, Andover, Massachusetts

                        Beaten out for varsity first-baseman by George Herbert Walker Bush.

 

Personal Highlights:

 

                        Marched in Selma with Dr. King.

Was present in Hershey, Pennsylvania gym when Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a single game.

Yelled “Judas” when Dylan went electric at Newport.

Mikula is an editorial cartoonist for Roll Call and the Atlanta Business Chronicle.  He is also a member of MAD Magazine's "Usual Gang of Idiots"   He may or may not be reached at mambro@bellsouth.net
 

Past Columns: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7